


The Road Not Taken

by DandyVela



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Catra is still a cat, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Novelist!Adora, POV Catra, Teacher!Catra, This Is Either Angsty or Hopeful You Decide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28458207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DandyVela/pseuds/DandyVela
Summary: "I didn't know if this was still your number."Catra shrugs like Adora could see her. "Well, you found me. So, what do you want?""I'm gonna be in town for the holidays. I'm, uh, I'm taking the late night train on Friday. Like, the last one." Adora talks hurriedly, her voice growing higher with every word. She clears her throat. "Do you… um. Can we meet?"Successful novelist Adora travels home for the holidays, desperate to reconnect with Catra. It goes... it goes.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 182





	The Road Not Taken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nuttyshake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuttyshake/gifts).



> Happy New Year's Eve, everybody! Especially for Ludo, hii ♡ This fic is part of an end-of-the-year exchange event, organized by the lovely She-ra writers server I'm in. The prompt was to base a story on 'Tis the Damn Season/Dorothea by Taylor Swift, and let me tell you, I've never listened to Taylor willingly but these are OUCH? Sad? Very sad? Did I write something sad for the first time? Let's see. ;)
> 
> Ludo, I truly hope you like it, I tried to fit this to your liking as much as I possibly could ♡♡

Catra sneezes, rubbing the melting snowflakes off the tip of her nose.

She shoves her hands into the pockets of her parka, ears twitching at the cold, clammy haze that keeps dripping on them. Every breath draws swirling clouds from her lips, her teeth clinking together. She nuzzles into her scarf and walks around, her boots creaking in the fresh snow. She shivers from the top of her head to the tip of her damp tail.

Catra fucking hates the cold.

And yet, here she is, outside of the Zone train stop in the middle of the night, in a fucking  _ blizzard,  _ and for what?

_ It’s the unknown number again. They’ve been calling Catra for two days straight now, not understanding - or completely ignoring - the lack of interest on Catra’s part to pick up. _

_ She's had enough now. _

_ Catra nearly breaks the screen with her claw as she taps  _ Accept _ , slamming the phone to her ear. _

_ "Yeah?!" She hisses, forcing a sweet undertone in her voice. _

_ There's a breath of silence, and then- _

_ "...Catra?" _

_ Catra hangs up. _

The snowstorm rages on. Catra watches the trains enter and leave the stop, whistling and puffing and rattling like they could fall apart at any moment.

She peeks at the huge clock above the platform she's waiting by. It's already 10:42 PM.

Snowflakes pepper the deep purple sky like millions of stars, the real ones hiding behind grey clouds. Catra's eyelashes feel heavy with the flakes, sticking together wet.

The announcer croaks something through the speakers, of which Catra only catches every other word. She assumes it's about the train she's here for, which is already 12 minutes late. Of course it is.

Rage is boiling acid in Catra's stomach, making her fingers twitch inside her pockets. There is  _ something else _ there, burning just as hot. Something Catra didn't let herself feel for years.

She hears the whistle of a train as it turns, running on the rails that lead towards her.

  
  


_ The phone doesn't ring again. Catra drops it on the couch and circles it like an animal circles its prey. _

_ There's no one to pretend for but herself. _

_ Catra has her phone in her hand, finding the last caller in her list. She taps  _ Dial _ , plopping down on the couch and drawing her knees up. _

_ It only rings once before the familiar voice is back, full of hope and out of breath: _

_ "Catra, is that you?" _

_ "What do you want, Adora?" _

_ "I- I just. I'm sorry, holy shit, is this really you?" _

_ Catra finds herself giggling. She hugs her knees with her free hand, tail wrapped around her ankles. Her voice softens. _

_ "Who the fuck else would I be?" _

_ Adora mumbles, offended: "I didn't know if this was still your number." _

_ Catra shrugs like Adora could see her."Well, you found me. So, what do you want?" _

_ "I'm gonna be in town for the holidays. I'm, uh, I'm taking the late night train on Friday. Like, the last one." Adora talks hurriedly, her voice growing higher with every word. She clears her throat. "Do you… um. Can we meet?" _

Catra takes a few steps back, not wanting to be trampled by the crowd flooding out of the cars. She tries not to look and look for her, averting her gaze to stare at her boots. She isn't sure why she's even here. She shouldn't have said yes. She shouldn't have said anything.

This is a horrible fucking idea. Maybe it's not too late to slip away unnoticed. She could just turn on her heel and hide in the crowd, let the flow of people take her-

"Catra!"

_ Shit. _

Catra barely has time to turn her head towards the voice when Adora slams her whole body to hers, crushing her with a bone-cracking hug. Strong arms wrap around Catra's neck, pulling her in tight, and after a breathless pause, Catra cannot help but hug her back.

"Hey, Adora."

Adora's cheeks are so soft and flushed hot, pressed to Catra's; it warms her up like a hot bubble bath after a long day, melting the ice off her bones, easing the strain in her freezing muscles.

"I've missed you," Adora whispers into her ear, and  _ fuck _ , that alone burns her whole chest, the fire spreading fast and uncontrolled.

Catra squeezes her eyes, ears drooping down. She rubs her cheek on Adora’s, her hand coming up to Adora's nape, stroking along the baby hairs. Adora shivers, then laughs.

"What?" Catra grumbles, nuzzling into the crook of Adora's neck. Her voice is muffled by Adora's scarf.

"You're purring."

Oh. Catra didn't notice. She desperately wants to feel ashamed, or awkward, or anything unpleasant so she might be able to ground herself somehow, but she's not that lucky.

She keeps floating, her head light as a feather.

"Shut up," she tries weakly. It only earns her another squeeze, their coats rustling at the friction.

Catra's heart is hammering in her chest; Adora doesn't want to let go, and neither does she. They stand there for a long time - long enough that when Catra opens her eyes, peeking at Adora's shoulder, it's covered in a thick layer of fresh snow. Despite Adora's familiar warmth, Catra's clothes have still gotten damp enough to make her shiver. Adora is slightly trembling in her arms, too.

She still doesn't move an inch.

"Let's go," Catra says softly, unfolding from Adora’s embrace reluctantly. She leaves her palms on Adora’s waist for a bit longer than necessary. "We're gonna freeze to death."

“Okay,” Adora breathes. She swallows thickly, staring at Catra now, eyeing her up and down unabashedly. There’s a fond smile tugging at her lips and a gleam in her eyes that Catra hasn’t seen in a long, long time.

Catra’s cheeks flush with color. She turns on her heel and starts walking towards the stairs that lead to the parking lot without a word. She hears Adora gasp a little “ _ oh! _ ”, the rattling of her carry-on luggage, then hurried footsteps following suit.

The Zone’s neon lights flicker across the windshield of Catra’s sad excuse for a car. The window wipers creak miserably, trying to sweep off the melting flakes that break the lights into a thousand shiny shards. Catra turns on the heat as haze sticks to the windows, washing up everything outside into a big, grey mush.

Adora had been silent so far, sitting in the passenger seat with a straight spine, staring blankly ahead. She is chewing on her bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed.

Catra doesn’t speak either. She has nothing to say. She grips the wheel with one hand, resting her chin in the other, elbow propped up by the window. She shoots some side glances towards Adora sometimes, checking on her.

Something feels very off about her, but Catra can’t really figure out what it is just yet. She looks different - not just in her features that got longer, sharper, more mature. A beautiful woman sat in the place of the girl Catra called her best friend. A stranger, maybe. Or just a new version; a side of the same Adora she used to love more than anything.

This Adora has dark circles under her misty eyes, empty and dim like the cloud-smothered sky. Her hair poof was deflated by the snow, her usual ponytail a loose knot, locks of hair escaping.

She looks peaky. Defeated.

Catra swallows against the lump in her throat and tears her gaze away.

“Wait, stop!” Adora suddenly shouts, shattering the silence.

Catra whips up her foot from the pedal, the old Toyota bucking on the slippery road.

“ _ Adora! _ ”

“Sorry, sorry - I’m sorry!” Adora yells, grabbing Catra’s arm protectively. Catra doesn’t pull away. “Stop here, please?”

Catra parks the car by the edge of the road and turns the coughing engine off. There's some suspicious metallic clanking coming from under the hood that Catra pays no mind to as she finally unfolds her arm from Adora’s grip.

Adora stares out of the window now, clicks herself free from the seatbelt, and flings the passenger door open.

“Hey!”

Adora keeps walking ahead like she didn’t even hear her.

Yeah, something is very fucking wrong with her.

Catra gets out too, slamming both doors as loud as she possibly can, trying to shake Adora out of her shock. It seems to work - Adora halts, lifting her jaw.

Catra steps by her side, raising her hands to pocket and protect them against the cold. She’s halfway there when she sneaks a peek at Adora’s profile; the view freezes the blood in her veins even more. She reaches out without thinking, her hand clasping around Adora’s. Where Catra’s skin is dry and cold, Adora’s is clammy and warm. Catra’s thumb strokes along her knuckles and Adora squeezes gratefully.

Catra follows her eyes, only just noticing where Adora wanted to stop.

The thick, dark walls of Horde High stand tall as ever, stone pillars and black spears reaching up to the skies, halls full of sharp offsets and hidden nooks, dangerous and unwelcoming.

It used to be much different - a safe space for the two of them. 

“Wanna go in?” She asks, gentle and only half-joking. Adora finally looks at her, jaw popping open. Catra knows that face.

“It’s the middle of the night.”

“Mm-hm.”

“It’s closed.”

“Aw fuck, you’re right,” Catra drawls; a challenging grin creeps on her face as she cocks an eyebrow. “There’s  _ no way _ we can get inside now.”

Adora surprises her again; only gaping like a fish once, she quickly gets to action. She pulls a bobby pin out of her messy hair, leaps to the heavy lock hanging on the gate, and turns her back towards Catra.

All Catra can hear is some quiet clicking and a sharp creak. Adora works quickly and skillfully, throwing the padlock down into a slush of snow.

Adora body slams the gate; it’s nearly impossible for one person to move that creaking beast, but Adora manages. The gate slides open very, very slowly as she pushes and grunts, tainted with some curt battle cries.

Catra’s ears twitch. She feels… for the lack of a better word, too stunned to help, just watching Adora fight against that force like a fucking jacketed Amazon.

Once Adora got the gate open wide enough that both of them could slip inside. She turns back towards Catra and blows some locks of damp hair out of her flushed face. Catra’s heart skips a beat, seeing Adora’s smug little smirk. The golden street lights finally reach her eyes, shining bright.

“I think someone left the gate open,” Adora says, her voice weak with suppressed laughter.

Catra snorts fondly, reaching into her back pocket and pulling out a simple leather keychain. She shakes it to make it jingle.

“Wonder who that could have been.”

Adora’s eyes widen. She shrieks accusingly at Catra:

“Are those-”

“Yeah.”

“Did you have them the whole-”

“Yep.”

“Okay, then,  _ why- _ ”

“You looked like you  _ wanted  _ to break in.” Catra says sweetly, spinning the keys around her index. Adora is still huffing, but there’s no real anger behind her outcry. Catra puts her keys back into her pocket and comes ‘round Adora, slipping through the crack in the gate. “Come on, Princess. We don’t have all night.”

_ Maybe they do, _ Catra thinks.

At least she hopes they do.

Catra opened the backdoor with keys, spreading it wide and ushering Adora in quickly. Once inside, Catra lets Adora wander wherever she pleases with Catra following suit, her tail sweeping behind her.

Catra listens to the knocking of their boots echoing back from the dripping pipes crawling across the ceiling, watching their shadows gliding on the walls.

Adora doesn't seem to know where she wants to go either. She doesn't stop, her ponytail flopping behind her with every huge step she takes. When they climb up the third narrow staircase so hurried like they're being chased, Catra's patience runs out. She stops, hugging herself. The corridor they are standing in is long, dark, and almost colder than the snowstorm outside.

"Adora, what the fuck are we doing here?"

Adora halts, jerking out of her daze. She turns on her heels slowly, avoiding Catra's eyes.

"I don't- I don't know. I just thought that maybe…maybe things would make more sense here."

Catra takes a careful step closer."What things?"

"I-" Adora bites her words. She licks her lips instead, swallowing big. "Why do you have those keys?"

Catra rolls her eyes, grunting."What do you think? I work here."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Catra bares her teeth at Adora's curious glance. "I teach P.E., okay?"

Adora hums, smiling bright.

"What?"

"It suits you. Do you like it?"

"What does it matter?" Catra leans against the wall, staring through the windows on the other side of the corridor. They're right above the gym, the white snow outside illuminating the space with a cool blue. "It's a decent living. For what I'm worth, that is. It's nothing like your bestsellers and fancy movies."

"It's just one movie," Adora blurts defensively.

"Whatever."

"Yeah." Adora joins Catra by the wall, holding her own hand behind her back. " Whatever."

They keep quiet for a while, listening to the rattling of the pipes inside the walls, and the rhythmic humming of hidden machinery. The area was thrumming, beating like a heart, making Horde High feel alive even in the middle of the night. 

Catra glances at Adora; she wears the same worried expression, chewing on her lip again hard enough she draws blood.

"Do  _ you _ like it?" Catra asks quietly.

"Huh?"

"What you're doing. Writing. Fame. Living in a big, bright city, surrounded by people who adore you." Catra's voice turns sour. "Isn't that what you always wanted?"

Adora's eyes drill into Catra's. "I wanted to come home."

"Why?" 

Adora's lashes flutter, her lips part with a painful grimace. Catra goes on, louder this time. "You don't even know. Are you so desperate to look for answers, you’d come here of all places? Really, Adora?" Catra laughs, short and cruel. She swirls in front of Adora, crossing her arms and tilting ahead. "Let me make this easy for you. You'll find nothing. If you could, you would've fucking  _ stayed _ ."

"I know!" Adora raises her voice, pushing herself off from the wall too. Catra stays put. "I never wanted to come back here, trust me."

"You just said you wanted to come home."

Adora smiles, weak and sad. "You always said this piece of junk isn't anybody's home."

"You’re not making any sense," Catra spits. "Why can't you ever give a clear answer? Why is everything always so fucking complicated with you?"

Catra hears her own voice break, so she shuts her mouth. She snaps her head away, standing by the windows now, staring down.

She feels Adora's warmth following her. "I'm sorry, Catra."

Adora sounds miserable. Without looking at her, Catra bumps their shoulders together.

"Fuck, don't be. I overreacted. Sorry." Her chest still feels too tight, and she swallows. "This is… weird, right? Being here. Together."

"Aww, are you nervous?"

"I'm not."

"You totally are. You're so flushed."

"I'm  _ not _ ."

“Look at your little ears.” Adora flicks one. Catra feels how her whole face sets on fire.

Catra growls, her tail thrashing behind her.

“Shut up.”

Adora tilts her head, so she can see Catra better. She grins at the rose flushing her cheeks and the tip of her nose, and hugs herself.

"I know you missed me, too," Adora coos; then her voice changes again, but her eyes aren't. "I wish things were simpler. I really do."

"Right."

"I mean it. I just. I don't know what the answer is."

"Which one?" Catra asks hoarsely. "The one you think I want to hear, or what you actually want to say?"

They stare at each other for a couple seconds. Then, Adora snorts; it melts into a bubbly laugh, to which Catra joins, whether she wanted to or not.

"I have- I have no idea what that means," Adora wheezes, rubbing her teary eyes with the heels of her palms. "I don't know anything. Oh my God, I don't know  _ anything _ ." Her voice grows weak again. She keeps her face hidden behind her hands, fingers twitching on her forehead. "Shit-"

“So good with words, Miss Bestseller," Catra says kindly.

“I have a ghostwriter. Don’t tell anyone,” Adora jokes back weakly. She sniffs.

Catra slides a palm on Adora's shoulder, squeezing. Adora peeks at her between her fingers, spreading them cautiously. Her eyes look even darker now, their shine piercing.

"Come with me," Catra says. "I know where Octavia hides her whisky."

Catra finds herself under the bleachers, the neck of the whisky bottle in one hand, Adora's fingers in the other. The whiskey and her touch are diffusing warmth behind her ribs, inside her bones. The feeling is good enough to forgive Adora for dragging her outside again.

The reflectors are on for some reason, their blinding light breaks through the cracks. Adora is laughing at something Catra just said, her cheeks frost-kissed pink.

Catra gives her the bottle, leaning her back to a pillar. Adora takes a careful sip, her eyes squeezed shut. She gulps big and sticks her tongue out.

"Phew."

"Aw, big city girl can't drink?" Catra teases. "I thought it was all about parties and galas and getting shit faced."

"Well, not for me," Adora says, wiping her mouth. Her face is slit in three - light, shadow, light. "I'm a lightweight, apparently."

Catra's eyes wander up and down on Adora's body. Her throat dries up. "If you say so." 

Adora squints at her like she understood. Catra clears her throat against that irritable knot.

"Those parties aren't for me, either," Adora confesses quietly. She glances down at their laced fingers like she forgot she was holding Catra. "Glimmer - my editor - is really big on them, she says it's important to put myself out there and build connections, but-"

"Just skip them."

"I can't."

Catra scoffs. "Sure you can. People like your novels because you're a good author. You don't have to be paraded around like a piece of meat. You’re selling your books, not yourself, right?”

Adora whips her head up like she was stung by a bee. Her eyes reflect the strobes, a beautiful brightness.

"You read them?"

Catra shrugs, and runs her thumb along the back of Adora’s hand.

The storm has faded away; tiny flakes are swirling around them now like pieces of dust.

"I flipped through a couple." Catra melts into Adora's gaze, mumbling awkwardly: "They're really good."

Adora smiles fondly. She takes a step closer; Catra presses herself tighter to the pillar, straightening.

"You know what helps me get through those parties?" She asks so quietly that Catra barely catches her words. Adora puts the bottle down onto the ground so she can take Catra's other hand in hers, too. "I always imagine you being there with me. I think about how you'd make fun of those people… the snarky comments you'd whisper in my ear that make me choke on my drink. I think about how you'd mess with the people I complained to you about. I think about what you'd wear -" Adora clips her words, eyebrows furrowing. She slides a hand higher on Catra's arm before she finds her waist. She doesn't have to pull Catra closer for Catra to lean in willingly. "Do you-"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think about me, too?"

"I'm trying not to." Adora exhales with a huff, so Catra adds: "That's not what I mean."

"What do you mean?"

It's Catra's turn to exhale sharply, forcing herself to bear Adora's gaze. She considers lying for a moment, but the words are already on the tip of her tongue, and swallowing them back would taste more bitter than bile.

"Because it fucking hurts, okay?"

Adora kisses her.

Her lips are cold and chapped, her little gasp burning on Catra's skin. Her arm wraps around Catra's waist, drawing her in, slow but urgent, desperate and needy, her grip on Catra's hand so tight it hurts-

Catra melts like snowflakes on warm skin. She presses a little closer, letting Adora kiss her as she pleases but otherwise too frozen to kiss back.

Adora draws back with a pop of their lips, just as sudden as she leaned in.

The loss of tender contact boils Catra's blood; the thoughts rush back into her mind, formerly swept blank. She feels the fur rise on her tail and her back and she bares her teeth with a growl.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She hisses, shoving Adora's hands off her.

Adora stumbles back, mouth agape.

"I-" She stammers.

"I'm not gonna be an experiment in your little identity crisis," Catra says, her voice growing louder with each word. "You don't get to use me like that. No one does."

"No, no, no, no, no, it's not what this is, I promise!" Adora yells hurriedly, raising her hands. "Please, listen-"

"I  _ listened _ , Adora. All I did in the last two hours is listening to your incoherent babbling and fucking rich people problems, because apparently no one else does, and you just - you." Catra's chest heaves and hollows. "You're… crying?"

"I'm sorry," Adora whimpers, clasping her hand over her mouth. There are tiny tears gleaming in her eyes, but she doesn't let them flow. "Shit, this isn't how our first kiss was supposed to go-"

"Did you forget me that easily?" Catra asks bitterly. "This wasn't our first kiss, Adora."

"The first one that meant something," Adora says. "The first one I-" She chokes on her tongue, breathing out in a shaky sigh.

"You really are a lightweight, huh?"

"This has nothing to do with it," Adora objects, finding her voice and confidence. It doesn't hide the break in her posture.

"Fuck," Catra breathes, calm again. "When did you become an even bigger mess than I am?"

"Catra, you're not a mess."

"I was when you left."

"Catra-"

"That's enough," Catra says firmly. "You needed a lift, right? I'm going to take you. No more nostalgic breaks and stupid games, so. Where are you staying?"

Adora looks small again, fidgeting. She gnaws the inside of her cheek and blurts out:

"I didn't tell anyone else that I'm back."

Catra barks out a lifeless laugh.

"Are you fucking kidding me."

"Catra-"

"Don't even dream about staying at my place. We're not doing this, Adora."

Adora grabs Catra's wrists and shoves her back to the pillar. Catra's lungs strain with a raspy inhale, Adora's body pressed to hers tight.

Catra raises her jaw, snarling.

" _ Adora _ ."

"Just five minutes," Adora practically begs, easing her grip apologetically. Catra doesn't try to get out. "Just give me five minutes, okay? You don't have to listen." Catra watches Adora's throat bob, glance sliding up to her lips to settle there. Adora soothes her voice. "We don't have to talk. Just let me show you."

"Show me  _ what? _ "

Adora's cold hands cup Catra's cheeks, thumbs smoothing down to her lips. Once she’s free, Catra still doesn’t go. She stays there, chest heaving and her heart beating like a war drum in her ears, wrapped in the soft embrace of Adora’s body and the scent of her skin and her hair-

"What I found," Adora whispers, pressing their foreheads together. Her eyes fall shut. "Our way home."

This time, Catra kisses her.

Adora parts her lips, surprised; Catra slips her tongue between them, moaning faintly at the welcoming warmth of Adora's mouth, her tongue caressing hers.

Catra's pace is anything but slow. Nothing in this kiss reminds her of Adora's previous carefulness, or that first clumsy one years ago; this kiss is long, heated and sweet, so deep that Catra fears she might drown.

Adora's thigh is trapped between hers, her fingers in Catra’s hair, stroking behind a drooped ear. She feels Adora’s palm on her throat, sensing the frantic pulsing Catra feels in her core, between her legs.

Adora moves her thigh in the tiniest ripple, and Catra whimpers into her mouth.

Adora draws back for air, eyes springing open.

"Alright, fuck it," Catra croaks, weak and hoarse. She claws into the back of Adora's jacket, tugging. She grazes their noses together. "Show me more."

"Yeah?" Adora breathes, high and full of hope.

"Yeah." Catra grabs Adora's hand, pulling her into a sprint. "Let's go."

"The bottle-"

"Fuck the bottle.”

"I thought I was gonna fuck you."

Catra's giggle echoes through the field, intertwining with Adora's. "You're such an idiot."

It has stopped snowing.

  
  


Catra doesn't remember anything from the ride to her place. She doesn't even know how she managed to drive on the poorly lit, slippery roads without crashing the car.

Her fingers are shaking as she's struggling to get her front door open, the key scratching the lock with every failed attempt.

One moment, Adora is still far behind, pulling her heavy luggage up the stairs of Catra's apartment complex - in the very next, she's right behind Catra as the door opens, not waiting for an invitation to step inside.

The luggage hits the floor with a heavy thud. The door slams shut.

Adora swirls Catra and pins her to the wall, their fingers laced and rested by Catra's flagged ears. Catra expects hungry lips capturing hers again, but Adora stops - stops and just watches her from up close, and at some point, Catra isn't sure when, her features melted back into the face that isn't a stranger's anymore.

The warm, yellow lights of Catra's kitchen wash away the dark circles under Adora's eyes and give her skin a healthy, sunny undertone instead of the sick, white paleness that hurt to look at. Her eyes are not like gloomy snow clouds anymore; they shine baby blue, like the clearest summer sky.

Adora touches their foreheads together again, tilting her jaw.

"Are you sure?" She asks, and there's something so gentle in her voice, in her touch, that Catra feels like falling.

"Are you?"

"I've never been more sure." Adora smears a little kiss on the corner of Catra's mouth, her lips lingering.

Catra trembles, wrapping her tail around Adora's thigh. She curls her fingers in Adora's grip, nails sinking into Adora's skin.

"Don't say shit like that if you don't mean it," Catra says, already breathless.

"But I do," Adora mumbles, kissing Catra's jaw now. She unlaces their fingers to slide her hands down her front, slow and shaky. "You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

Catra claps her palms around Adora’s hips, pulling her in pretentiously.

“ _ Hurry up _ , then.”

Adora hums, flashing a crooked little smile with a hint of teeth. She presses Catra back to the wall by a hand on her chest.

“None of that,” Adora says, voice growing husky. Catra feels strength ooze out of her knees. “Now that I can finally touch you, I'm going to take my time."

Adora unzips Catra's parka, rustling with it slowly as she gets it off her shoulders and lets it fall to the floor. Her lips latch to Catra's neck and she whispers into her skin between kisses and licks, sultry and low:

"I want to savor you." A hand under Catra's sweater, crumpling it up. "Spoil you. Worship every inch of your perfect body." Soft fingertips crawling up her belly. "Ruin you, break you, put you back together." Teeth sinking into her neck. "Make you come until you forget your own name."

Catra gasps, wet. " _ Fuck- _ "

Adora draws back, meeting Catra's eyes. "Can I?" She asks with a soft arch of her brows.

Catra swallows.

She  _ has _ to think about it because, fuck, that's a dream she's had so many times, awake and asleep, but the way Adora wants to do this - slow and agonising - is too much. She's only going to break her own heart again, and it's going to hurt even more now.

Is it worth it?

"Catra, talk to me," Adora asks meekly, her thumb drawing little circles into the fuzz on Catra's navel. "It's okay if you don’t want that. We don't have to do anything. _ I _ don't have to do anything."

Catra narrows her eyes at her. Adora continues.

"I just mean… anything you are willing to give me, I'll take."

"Really?" Catra asks, suspicion creeping in.

"Yeah," Adora breathes and she looks at Catra like she's the best fucking thing she's ever touched, and yeah, it's too much but maybe it's still not enough, because Catra leans in and captures Adora's lips curiously.

She's still looking for answers, and she just found one - Adora kisses her like nothing else matters, her overflowing devotion is suffocating in the best way, sending little jolts of excitement through Catra’s nerves.

"I'm yours," Adora mumbles, licking into her mouth again.

_ This _ is how Catra wants to be taken.

When Catra awakes the next day, she’s caressed by the sunlight breaking through the shutters, and Adora’s soft body pressed to her back.

Catra peeks at the clock on the nightstand; it’s already past noon.

She shifts very carefully, trying not to wake Adora. Turns out she doesn’t have to worry about that; as she moves, Adora’s gentle hand strokes along Catra’s side from her ribs to the middle of her thigh, coming back up to settle on her belly and pull her closer.

She hums, satisfied when Catra wraps her tail around her waist. Catra nestles deeper into the warmth of Adora’s embrace, breathing in her scent on the pillow.

A phone rings.

Adora stirs and slips away way too easily, dropping her feet to the ground and pushing herself up.

Without looking at her, Catra clings to Adora’s arm.

“Adora, wait.” She does. Catra slides her hand lower, fingers curling around Adora’s. “Please. Stay.”

Adora’s eyes shimmer with something Catra doesn’t understand, locking into Catra’s.

Her chest rises, her lips part to speak.

The phone keeps ringing.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it? Did you hate it? Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/dandyvela) either way.  
> ♡ Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all have a safe, wonderful day, and here's to a better year. ♡


End file.
